mnvnjnsn's Diary

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Who put my potential up there?

My tattoo has gotten red and crunchy, and I keep leaving little pieces of black skin in my sleeves.

I'd like to make that into a metaphor for how I'm feeling right now, but I don't think I'm quite that linguistically adept.

I'd like to say that the man is keeping me down, that I'm being shat upon and blamed and that everyone has got it out for me, but in reality everyone is telling me that somehow I've let them down. I spent all the money that Trevor Dunnigan gave me in Texas, so I'm living off food stolen from work and stale cereal. My bosses called me into a meeting this morning to tell me that I haven't been living up to my potential, and what could they do to help me do better? And then I disappoint myself every day with the things I don't write, the house I don't clean, the roses I don't prune, the books I don't read.

I'm $250 overdrawn in my bank account, I have four credit card companies after me, and I still owe over a thousand bucks in back taxes. There's loads of cool people I met over the weekend who I haven't yet linked to. There are Emvelopes I need to send, but I can't afford stamps. Is there any friend, family member or institution I haven't let down?

No, no there is not.

Sorry for the "woe~is~me" entry. Let's blame it on the drugs. I have a list of happy stuff I could have written about.Let's hope tomorrow I follow that plan.

2:46 p.m. - 2003-10-23


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