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Weekend in Las Vegas

I saw the most spectacular and terrifying show on TV last night, and they call the circus Barry. Manilow: Music and Passion was on PBS last night, and even now I can't get his creepy mug outta my head. His current face puts a whole new meaning to "I can't smile without you." Honestly, you can actually see where his old face ends and his new one begins. I have never seen someone try to emote so much using only his lower jaw.

It was so awful I couldn't look away.

His show in Vegas is exactly what a cynical and stuck-up cretin like me would expect: showy outfits, back-up singers/dancers, weepy fans (both young and old; I can't tell you how disturbing it is to see people younger than me rockin' out to "American Bandstand"). But the creepy hoardes and plastic singer aren't all this horrorshow has to offer: no, there is one more thing:

He has added rap lyrics to "Copacabana."

No, really, he has. Because one of his dancers is black, and male, so this is as logical as anything else in Vegas. And you should have seen the crowd go crazy. You could tell Manilow was really enjoying himself be the way his jaw kept rocking from side to side as his dead, sunken eyes stared out at the adoration.

5:20 p.m. - 2006-03-13


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