mnvnjnsn's Diary

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What Not to Do

Have you all seen that BBC America show "What Not to Wear?" In the spirit of that, and yet not like that at all, I'm going to treat you all to my own list of "What Not to Do."

  • Do not store your pre-moistened facial wipes next to the Scrubbing Bubbles flushable bathroom wipes, because you take a lot of pills at night, and you're not so good with details after 10pm.
  • Do not let your blood sugar plummet right before lunch, because you will gorge yourself on pizza and end up looking greasy and foolish and smelling of parmesan at the afternoon meeting with the President of the Company.
  • Do not scream obscenities at the printer when you forget to put the appropriate header in the 50 page document you just printed. The students visiting your office may become frightened.
  • Do not take your pain medication first thing in the morning, no matter how much you hurt. You've go to drive yourself to work, and those stop signs don't not count if you're too tired to see them.
  • Do not read Dean Koontz. Read Harlan Ellison instead.
  • If you must misplace your cat, don't do it right before bedtime, and don't look for 45 minutes and then shake the can of cat treats. And when she shows up right after that,
  • Do not feed her any treats.

She's a farter.

2:45 p.m. - 2003-07-24


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