mnvnjnsn's Diary

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This is what happens when I finally, painfully and unequivocally give up.

I have cut my resume (notice the lack of proper accenting etiquette) down to mostly lies. I am using my husband's name, and I mention computer skills maybe once or twice during the whole thing. Also, I have taken the whole fiasco that was my last job and instead describe the last five years as my being a "homemaker."

(notice the lack of proper hyphenation. That only makes you look more high falutin'.)

This will surely upset my lawyer, but what the hell? I've already given up. I'm not even going to try for anything other than an admin assist job. I am not going to apply for any job that doesn't require a list of the elementary schools you attended. Hell, why bother with a resume at all? I'll only apply to jobs that require a completed, handwritten job application that comes off a pre-printed tablet.

I've just given up. On everything. My fat pants are too tight now, so I'll start wearing Homer Simpson muu-muus. I'm 35, married and jobless. I think I've lost all rights to even trying to look cool or be happy. I'm going to start eating lunch at McDonalds because you can get enough "food" there for $2. I may start writing angry letters People magazine because Jennifer Aniston deserves to be alone. If she had just popped out a few kids for poor Brad, she wouldn't be in this mess.

And If I had given up on keeping my sanity and my integrity a year ago, I wouldn't be here, either.

I will now go take another handfull of drugs and be in bed by eight. Again.

7:17 p.m. - 2005-08-28


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