mnvnjnsn's Diary

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zip it

You know what I wish? I wish that life was really like that Warner Bros cartoon with Sam and Ralph (you know, the sheep dog and the coyote). Aside from the really cute sheep everywhere, I wish I had a zipper that started at the top of my head and went straight down the middle of my front side. That way, when I don't like my hair or my face has decided to break out even more than no 33 year old should have to put up with, I can unzip and be someone better.

I thought of this as I was taking a nap in my rheumatologist's office. My appointment was at 3:30, and I was escorted into the little check-up room at about 4 o'clock. An hour later he comes in. So you see, I had a lot of time to think.

My entire left side had been hurting me all day, and I was thinking how nice it would be if my doctor could come in, unzip my skin, and just pull out all the bad greeblies that were obviously taking root in my hip, groin and lower back. It would be so much easier than all the x-rays and blood tests. So much easier than having to see fifty different doctors who all say the same thing (which is to say, nothing). Hell, I wouldn't even need a doctor, I'd just pull out the greeblies myself.

Don't think, on my more painful days, I haven't actually tried that.

7:14 p.m. - 2003-04-22


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