mnvnjnsn's Diary

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2004-06-29

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[Insert 'it came back to bite me the ass' pun here]

So, my warranty is almost out, I'm growing weird things in the hothouse that is my kidney, I take a handful of pills a day (literally!), but you know what's going to kill me? The spider (or bug bite) bite I got on my ass while I was out watering the plants this afternoon.

I was wearing a skirt, which I normally don't do, and it had been so long since we used our hose that the clover and grass had grown over the tangled mess. I disturbed probably 80 different species of grass inhabitants, and pissed one off enough that it crawled or flew up my skirt and bit or stung me right on my ass. It felt like I'd been stabbed by a very small shard of glass. I screeched and grabbed my ass with my free hand but soldiered on, watering the tree and the flowers. By the time I got in the bathroom and pulled off my skirt, I had grown a small bump with a pinpoint of blood. I iced my fanny for a couple minutes and whined to my husband when he got home.

Whenever something medical happens to me, I associate it with something similar that has happened to anyone I know, multiply the severity by one hundred, and assume that's what has happened to me. I don't know why I do this, since my body always finds ways to reinvent sickness and accidental injuries, but I do. I'm sure it fits in with my philosophy that pessimists are always pleasantly surprised. Anyway, my friend was bitten by a spider, and ended up having to go on hardcore biotics and pain killers because of the venom. It is a harrowing story, and if you don't believe it follow that link and take a good look at that picture. Yeesh.

I doubt that's what bit me. It's probably a sting from some flying stinging thing. But you better believe I'm keeping both my eyes peeled for a large (several cm.) area of redness, blistering, ulcers and bruising. Yeesh.

Oh, and my new urologist? Pretty blasť about the whole kidney stone thing. Dismissed them as small and thinks I should just change my diet. HA. Clearly, he doesn't know me at all.

8:21 p.m. - 2004-06-29

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