mnvnjnsn's Diary To contact send email to mnvnjnsnATSIGNgmailDOTcom. 2007-01-23
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Exeunt I am of two minds right now. My right mind is telling me I should rename this journal; current events tell me I have no right to base an online journal on my occasional piddly, non-lethal health crises. My other mind, the one I suspect is actually right, is that I should probably just stop this half-hearted pantomime and admit the one thing this journal has taught me: My health problems have broken one synapse too many, and I have neither the mental acuity nor strength of wit to keep writing. It�s not that I haven�t had loads of things to write about�ask me someday to tell you about my toenails, turning 37, Pan�s Labyrinth, The Curse of the Narrows or the gigantic tin frog I received from that woman for my birthday�it�s that I honestly prefer sitting slack-jawed on the couch, eating corn from the can and yelling at the TV set. I don�t just prefer it, it�s all I do. Most nights I�m too lazy to even read. I don�t go online because I can�t be bothered to climb the stairs. Not only that, but I spend my day in front of a computer, usually with some time to kill. I could write, if I wanted to. Health problems? Yeah, I�ve got enough to keep me drained of all energy and personality, but not enough to fill more than two paragraphs of unnecessarily gussied-up narrative. Certainly not enough to deserve the name �Medicine Balls.� You want to talk balls? You want to hear about health problems? We just found out that sister J has renal failure that will put her on dialysis in Fall of 2008. This, added to her already full plate of diabetes (2 medicines, one injected several times daily), gastro-paresis (cause: unknown. No drugs seem to be helping yet. When it hits, hospitalization seems necessary for at least 4 days. And trust me, a hospital is the worst place for a diabetic to be.), neuropathy (resulting in chronic pain which, for someone fairly intolerant of pain meds, can be horrifying) and high blood pressure (just sucky all-around). Now, I can�t speak for her, but this would put me in a tailspin wrapped in a fucking tornado. Thank the FSM she�s got her husband�who just so happens to be made of patience and light�and that she�s got health insurance. She�s plowing through her medical and family leave, and will soon be hitting up her disability, so it�s also handy that she has a life, health & disability attorney in the family. But even with those two things going for her, and I know they�re big things, I am completely at a loss on how I would handle this. Christ, I can�t handle even hearing about it. So, J, I know there isn�t much I can do for you, being 550 miles away, but I will get you a dictation machine for you and will transcribe everything you say here, so people can know what it�s really like to be in a smorgasbord of hurt. 4:50 p.m. - 2007-01-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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