mnvnjnsn's Diary

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Помощь бога дети

I had a really bad day today. My stupid mail-order pharmacy has taken three weeks (and still counting) to deliver the anti-depressants I ran out of two weeks ago (yes, those very same drugs they say never to stop cold turkey due to increased risk of SUICIDAL TENDENCIES --and decreased Infectious Grooves). I've been drowning in "what's the use?" thoughts and getting increasingly more concerned about how many months we are behind on our rent. I had just spent a weekend asleep or feeling slighted by various friends and cohorts (and I'm still not removed enough to know if it's their fault or mine) and I came home to a DSL modem that refused to work.

I haven't said more than three sentences to my husband, and all of them are of the "careful - I'm packing heat" variety.

And then I check the digital cable and watch Children of Beslan on HBO.

Jesus Christ. Talk about getting your perspective kicked in the ass. I've been tearing up lately at life insurance commercials-- this had me sobbing in that painfully quiet way that I do when I don't want the world to hear me. I don't feel any better about my own situation, but man... that's it. All I can say is... man.

And welcome to all y'all who've recently joined the ward here at Medicine Balls. Glad to have you aboard. Bedpans are cleaned once every three days, and lunch today-- as always-- is pureed mixed vegetables and Ensure. Enjoy!

10:10 p.m. - 2005-09-12


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