mnvnjnsn's Diary

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I've been watching Most Haunted on the Travel Channel a lot lately, because I like the idea of seeing ghosts, but mostly because I need to feel superior to yet another TV pehrsonahlitay/narrator. This time, the poor sod is Yvette, the "host" of the show, who follows various mediums, "experts" and historians about haunted places in Britain. You would think, maybe, that the show's producers would want someone who wasn't so high strung and whiny for this gig. You know, someone who wouldn't scream bloody murder at the slightest draught.

Oh, wait. She is one of the producers. Well, that explains it.

I'm writing about cheesy ghost shows because I really don't want to face what I've figured out is the main reason I'm so damned depressed right now. Sure, my financial problems and medical issues (including a near complete dearth of insulin due to mail-order pharmacy problems) are always to blame, but I realized today that I just feel like such a loooooooser when I contact former co-workers. I feel like a high school drop out who hangs out around the school just to have people to talk to, like David Wooderson in Dazed and Confused. But I'd spent so long at home by myself and then got thrown into this cool group of people and I totally miss that. And that embarasses me, and makes me feel like I'm annoying everyone I talk to.

Ugh. I've got a 1 day temp gig at OHSU tomorrow. Hopefully that will cheer me up. Although, it is a hospital, and hospitals don't usually make me feel any better.

4:34 p.m. - 2005-07-12


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