mnvnjnsn's Diary To contact send email to mnvnjnsnATSIGNgmailDOTcom. 2004-08-09
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Triumph I think this weekend was a breakthrough. No, I didn't get a job. No, my house isn't cleaner. No, I didn't win the lottery. I was, however, openly ignoring Estelle all day on Saturday and it felt fabulous. She and my mother came for an extended visit (3 days instead of 36 hours), and I don't know why I ever complained about their whiplash visits-- maybe because it felt like Mom didn't want to hang out with us up here. But having spent all of Saturday with them-- and hearing the stories from K, where they stayed-- I think it's safe to say that as long as Estelle insists on visiting with my mother, those 36 hours visits are just fine. And now a visit to the world of Estelle: Estelle would like to visit the 'base at the North Pole.' When it is pointed out that there is no base at the North Pole-- the unspoken reason being because there is nothing there to build a permanent base on-- she changed her story and said she'd like to go to the actual pole. Meaning, she thinks there is a pole at the North Pole. Back to reality. There were several times during the day when Estelle would address me directly and I just ignored her. Some folks might say that's rude and normally, I would agree. But this is a woman who co-opted my mother decades ago and I refuse to forgive the theft and play her games anymore. I don't like the woman, I shouldn't have to act like we're best friends. Among the moments I consider to be triumphs: At one point my mother asked if I wanted to ride to the miniature golf place with them. I said "Um..... no." These may seem petty. In the real world, they are. But when you are forced to interact with someone as utterly self-involved, someone so insecure that she feels threatened by a toddler, someone so enragingly irritating as Estelle, these things become huge. I played nice with her for 22 years and I got nothing but a disrupted relationship with my mother and years of therapy fodder. This time I didn't leave angry-- just with a sense of pity and a ringing in my ears. 10:30 p.m. - 2004-08-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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