mnvnjnsn's Diary

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That which does not kill us makes us crankier

Hey, anyone out there need a database person with a knack for writing? Anyone need a cashier or a bar back? Anyone need a cat sitter or car washer or cage dancer?

Because today, after several brutal talks with a management who clearly does not understand anything about how to manage or how to process data, I kinda-sorta quit that job I've been complaining about for months. I say kinda-sorta because I got "written up" again for seemingly piddly mistakes and, after listening to my crazy-ass boss basically tell me I was not wanted in this here company, I took advantage of the severance clause in the paperwork and Monday will be my last day. I don't know if that counts as a lay-off, a firing or a quitting. It will probably count as whatever disallows me to claim unemployment, because that's what my company is like.

I wish I wasn't leaving, and by that I mean, I wish my boss wasn't a fucking loon. It was nice to walk around the office and see how upset other people were that I'm going. After all the shit my boss kept feeding me about how I was a disappointment to "everybody," I was glad to see that nearly everyone else in the company at least recognized that the work I did was valuable. I have encouraged those people to let Shelley (the crazy fucking bitch boss from hell) stew in her own juices and not to take on any of the work I did. She was supposed to be my manager, and therefore know what my job entailed. I am hoping she learns the hard way, and trust there is some god somewhere with a sense of fairness. If there is, she will drown in missed deadlines and demanding customers and she will collapse in a heap in her giant office with the nice view.

It does help that the president of the company is on vacation and incommunicado for another week, so I will be long gone when she gets back and finds there is no one to spoon feed her her precious "numbers."

Am I bitter? Is there a stronger word available? Because Shelley was so smug in our final conversation, so patronizing when she intimated that I was useless and stupid, that I really hope she gets a hard and ice cold come-uppance. Hey, you want to see a picture of her? Go here. Now keep in mind that she's in her mid-forties, she lives alone and has obviously not been laid in years.

I don't know what I'm going to do now. Unfortunately I haven't been formally trained in any of the stuff I can do. I learned just enough to meet the company's needs, and now am left with huge holes in my knowledge of things. Of course, now is not the time for me to be reviewing my hireability, since my self esteem has been continually under attack for the past several months.

I'm sort of numb at the moment. And drunk. I will wake up tomorrow terrified that I will be losing my insurance (unless I can afford the outrageous COBRA fees) and despairing that I will ever find a job that will pay my rent. But for now I think I should just savor the knowledge that I am finally free of that bitch, and if she thinks I'm actually going to work on Monday, she is even more out of touch than I thought.

And you know, she probably is.

8:00 p.m. - 2004-07-23


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