mnvnjnsn's Diary

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She's only doing it for the thank you note

I got an email from my mother today. It was an innocuous enough note, carrying on our last telephone conversation about what I wanted Estelle to get for us as a wedding gift. I told her to check the registry or get us a gift certificate to Amazon. There's always a DVD we could use. Mother, being the inherently easy-going woman that she is, told me "OK."

Then I get the email this morning that starts out like this:

Estelle would prefer to hear from you about what you want... enjoy this flurry of gifts and attention while you can - it's all part of getting married...You and Trevor could take us to Meier & Frank is one idea I had.

Why does she need to hear it from me? Is it because, perhaps, she wants to make this all about how GENEROUS she is? Why is Mom telling me to enjoy this while I can? Is it, maybe, because she knows Estelle is MANIPULATING this to be all about her, and it's better for Estelle's ego for me to think that unless I acquiesce and [shudder] go shopping with her that I will appear SELFISH?

I think what neither of them understand is that I neither want nor need a present from her. I'm not expecting a present from any of Mom's college roommates, or grade school buddies, why would I need one from her current roommate, even if she has been around forever and a day? Sister J had a great idea and I went with it-- I wrote Estelle an email saying everyone had been so generous already, maybe she could give a donation to charity. I suggested the Humane Farming Association. Then I sent Mom an email saying that I wasn't planning on going shopping with them, and that Estelle is her friend, not mine.

And I've gotten the great stone wall of silence from Mom ever since. Ah well, it had to be said. It's what I said before, and we all know where that got me.

5:22 p.m. - 2004-07-16


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