mnvnjnsn's Diary

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My therapist loaned me some "Speaking up for yourself" CDs that I've started listening to during my commute. It's all stuff I've heard before: destructive thought patterns, catastophic thinking and all that.

As I was listening yesterday, I was inspired to talk to my boss about a recent SNAFU that happened during a project thrust upon me midway through. The problem was communication. Foolish mortal that I am, I did what she asked me to do, rather than intuit that this project required a full investigation, glean that the scant information she did give me was completely wrong, and know that the audience would be a raging snarky beeyotch.

So, I brought up a few facts and questions about the assignment, positing that given the fact that I had no access to the requestor and had to rely on what my boss told me, could she at least see that it was a joint communication error and please stop talking to me like I am a huge albatross around her neck?

No, instead she started a speech about how I needed to "own" every data request, how precarious my job is, and how our whole company is in jeopardy now, and how the president has no confidence in me and that I am a horrible, childish, stupid employee.

Or words to that effect, anyway.

Any follow up questions were answered with "You've been here long enough to know that."

I crumbled like bleu cheese.

I've been through the shame, depression and anger phases and have settled in the defiant stage. Maybe not as professional as I'd like to be, but she told me to "own" everything, so I now own a complete disregard for her and her requests.


4:38 p.m. - 2004-05-05


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