mnvnjnsn's Diary

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I stand on guard for thee

I could rail on about how much I hate my job right now, but I will focus on other, nicer things. Like Canada.

My friend can't understand my undying love of Canada (then again, he doesn't have an Evil Simpleton as President). What's there to love? Why must you always bring it up? Haven't you waxed poetic about that country enough already?

Well, yes. But I haven't put my love in bullet point format yet.

What I love about Canada

  • Tylenol with Codeine Truly, this is a country that understands the place of pharmaceuticals in society. It's not to make money, it's to *kill the pain.*

  • Timbits Sure, you call them doughnut holes, but there is something about a doughtnut with the word "bits" in its name, sold to you by an ex-hockey player that makes them even more delicious. Plus, they come in about 15 different

  • Hard Cider comes in 2 liter bottles I have nothing to add. That beautiful sentence says it all.

  • Canadians just seem to have a better outlook Stockwell Day ran for office on a platform about a third as conservative as G.W. Dumbass, and the country thought him a right-wing crackpot.

  • Canada has places named Whiffens Spit and Moose Factory. And Coquitlam! And Esquimault! And Flin-Flon, people! Flin! Flon!

  • They have a lot more European products Coffee Crisp! Smarties!! For god's sake, Big Turk, people!
  • They seem like such sensible folks On their way to legalizing marijuana, treating Cuba like a real country, Gay marriage legal and not a big deal. Sensible, solid people.

I know all things are relative. I'm sure there are plenty of Canadians who hate it there and want to move South. And to those people, I say: Trade ya!

5:10 p.m. - 2004-05-03


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