mnvnjnsn's Diary

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On snacks

I have been eating a lot of pretzels lately.

I can't tell you why, but I power through them at work. If I get a bowl of them from the kitchen (my office provides free snacks to help with the indoctrination), I will eat them quickly, not stopping to drink or even ask myself if I'm hungry, until they are gone. I am a ravenous pretzel consumer. I'm sure I bug the hell out of my cube neighbors, what with constant crunching and rattling of a paper bowl filled with pretzel bits.

I think this must mean something other than proving that I am so NOT on the Atkins diet. What are those salty ribbons of goodness thrying to tell me about me?

  • That I am addicted to the pretzel 'mouthfeel.' I do like the consistency of just-chewed pretzels (though I can't believe I used the term 'mouthfeel.' Ugh)-- there's this state of pretzel where everything is chewed, but the saliva hasn't mixed in with the dry, crushed-up pretzel that is neat. So, given my OCD with other sundry actions, this is a distinct possibility.
  • That I must finish what I start. Ha. Clearly, no. I don't finish anything I'm not required by law to finish (and even sometimes I don't even finish those). I don't even finish sentences, preferring just to taper off...
  • That I like free food. Yes, I do like free food. Is there anyone who doesn't like free food? I mean, come on. It's free food!
  • That I am sodium deficient. Does sodium deficiency lead to a disease? Like lack of vitamin C leads to Scurvy? Well, maybe! It doesn't seem to have a cool name like scurvy, but it has symptoms like cramps, weakness and nausea. Isn't it funny that botha lack of sodium and too much sodium causes excessive thirst? That's a hoot.
  • That I am Mr. Salty's bitch. Folks, we have a winner.

[this is where I would post a photoshopped picture of Mr. Salty with a whip and chains and an evil look made of salt on his sailor-hatted head. But I don't have a picture of Mr. Salty, and I'm no good in photoshop. So, in this case, a picture would have been worth 56 words.]

4:38 p.m. - 2003-11-10


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