mnvnjnsn's Diary

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You should stop with the should statements

I haven't liked going to my therapist lately because she is having me work on my "assertiveness issues" and I can't stand even the thought of "assertiveness."

I'm supposed to think about what people say to me and rationalize what they mean by it. "It would be nice if I could read your mind, crazy person I work with, but I can't and so your screaming at me shall not bother me." Yeah, it doesn't work that way. Some people I work with have an uncanny ability to make me second guess myself and appear indecisive, muddled and weak. And assertiveness is supposed to train me to take their passive-aggressive words and tone and "hand it back" to them.

When really all I want to do is slap them upside the head with a two-by-four.

I guess I'm bitter because I know a lot of people who let their problems dictate how they respond to people who are in no way connected to the problem. Meaning, if Person A is having a bad time getting her sister to stop, I don't know, hammering her dog with a mallet, then that person will take that frustration out on Person B, who just happens to be walking past her desk. I'm bitter because it's Person A's fault. Person A is the one who needs to be in therapy, working on her interpersonal skills and "talking back" to her harmful thoughts. And yet Person B is the one who has to get the training on how to deal with folks like Person A. Oh, it makes. Me. Mad.

And if you think you know about whom I am complaining, you're wrong. And it's not you, so don't worry.

Well, no one took me up on my contest offer, so it's officially rescinded. I'm so depressed. Now I can say I threw a party AND a contest and nobody came.

4:50 p.m. - 2003-11-04


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