mnvnjnsn's Diary

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Dentally challenged

Hello!!! People!!! Who doesn't want to win a prize for insulting me? Still no one has entered my Why Emily is a Distasteful Member of Society. I'm not that great a person! Surely someone must dislike me enough to write something witty about it! Does NO ONE hate me? *sigh*

I wrote about six entries in my head while sitting in the dentist's chair this morning, but I've forgotten all the best parts, as I expected. Oh, the witticisms! The sardonic musings! But my brain is full of holes you could drive a camel through and so I have lost them all.

I was at the dentist for an intense cleaning using all sorts of high-tech equipment, plus a whole lot of good, old-fashioned medieval scraping devices. I know I shouldn't complain about going to the dentist, because I have no one to blame but myself, I have pretty good insurance, and I'm lucky to have any teeth at all, but I'm still gonna complain.

The dental hygienist was a quiet and competent woman, but did she have to keep all her utensils across the chair from her? The time she spent not all up in my teeth, she was bent across me changing equipment, my face in her armpit. Not. Quite. Comfortable.

And the sound of metal against bone just creeps me out. You'd think that would be enough incentive to keep me flossing non-stop, but my laziness is hardier than you'd think.

(On a different note altogether, they are doing construction work in the office downstairs. The floor is filled with buff dudes in tight jeans and mullets carrying heavy things and drilling holes in walls. As I came back from the dentist, I saw them sitting around a large boom box that was blasting Journey's "Separate Ways." It made me giggle.)

I enjoyed the Joe Schmoe finale, but I wish they had talked to the actors more, and maybe showed less of Matt crying. But it was one of the most satisfying reality show finales I've ever seen. Those Stone Stanley folks do good work. I just wish they'd bring back Anderson Cooper.

I have a weird crush on Anderson Cooper. I don't lust after him, I don't imagine myself in passionate embraces. I think it must be because he's (rumored to be) gay, and all my fantasies have some semblance of reality to them. No, I fantasize about moving to New York and working as a receptionist in the vet's office where he takes his dog.

Jon Stewart takes his dog there too.

Does it tell me that I've missed my sexual peak when my fantasies are all about meeting hot guys in an office situation and making them laugh?

1:23 p.m. - 2003-10-29


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