mnvnjnsn's Diary

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How to have a classic insulin reaction

  1. Don't eat much dinner.
    • For instance, eat only a slice of pizza and some fruit snacks, but take the same amount of insulin you would for a 5 course meal.
  2. Go to bed early.
    • For example, nine-thirty.
  3. Make sure you've taken all your sleep and mood altering drugs.
    • Even better with schnapps!
  4. Ensconce yourself under plenty of warm bedclothes.
    • The more cats, the better (this is important later).
  5. Waft in and out of sleep for about an hour.
    • I recommend cats that make lots and lots of noise at night. It helps to get up and tend to them occasionally while still drugged out and half asleep.
  6. Finally fall into a deep sleep.
    • Don't worry, the insulin will take care of itself.
  7. Wake up in a pool of sweat, fearful and confused.
    • Be sure to get out of bed knowing you're supposed to do something, but you just don't know what.
  8. Scuffle about the house in the dark, periodically taking off a piece of clothing.
    • Look for the cats! There was something important to do with the cats! What's that light? Where am I? Is this my house? Choo choo!
  9. Realize your blood sugar is low.
    • I find spend 10 minutes standing in front of the fridge trying to decide what to eat a helpful way to waste precious brain cells.
  10. Eat a quarter pint of Ben & Jerry's.
    • mmmmm Chocolate Fudge Brownie....
  11. Notice halfway through that you're naked and you don't know why.
    • Huh. That's weird.
  12. Go back to bed.
    • It's clear from your partner's uninterrupted sleep that he/she doesn't love you at all. But you cheated death again anyway! Ha! But wake him/her up anyway, you need a hug.

Good times!

3:22 p.m. - 2003-09-11


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