mnvnjnsn's Diary
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2003-08-15
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Shaking
I am all freaked out because my mother and That Woman fly in this evening. I'm not even going to see them tonight, but it's still causing me unbearable anxiety. I can't sit at my desk for more than three minutes, which makes both working and writing this entry pretty damn hard.
In fact, I need to go walk around for a bit. Whilst I'm gone, enjoy this picture of Phlyd in the big blue chair with Trevor Dunnigan.
Keep in mind, he put himself there. Trevor Dunnigan was there first.
My friend V, who is light years better than me as a writer, has started her own diaryland journal. She's balticgrl. Go read her, bookmark her, favorite her. Go! Then come back here. Hopefully I'll think of something to say by then.
SO I have a little bit of a plan set up for the "coffee" with my "mother." I'll take her first to my new office, because she loves seeing stuff like that, and I want to share that with just her. Then we'll go somewhere for some sort of drink (I'll try to talk her into a McMenamins or something) and the real pain will begin.
I figure I'll start out by talking about my health. That's the pretense of this whole deal. I've got way more problems than she is aware of, and I should probably bring her up to speed. This, in turn, should segue into a talk about not telling Estelle. And then all hell breaks loose.
What do I want from this whole process? Well, ideally I'd get my mother and the past 20 years back, but I'm skeptical about that. What I do hope to get is some recognition, some sort of sign that mom is aware that Estelle is a horrible bitch to me, and what I and the rest of the family go through for mom's sake, and that Mom really is on my side.
But I'm afraid she may not be.
2:38 p.m. - 2003-08-15
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