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Mama, these for you!

I got this link from jenniebee via missjessy, so I apolgize if they have commented already but you have GOT to listen to these. Be sure to listen to them as you read this page.

For the soundcard-impaired, this is an amateur memorial CD of three songs devoted to Laci Peterson. Far be it from me to mock the victims of murder. For the most part. But this has got to stop. This has gone too far. It's one thing to write a sappy poem about your own father who died of a heart attack at age 49 when you're twelve years old (I mean, who hasn't done that?), but quite another for the FedEx guy of an overhyped murder victim to pen saccharine memorial songs. Screw you, genocide victims of the Congo! We've lost Laci!

Remembering Laci, by John Strand.
Okay, when I die a gory, unnatural death, I definitely want someone who can barely carry a tune to sing my memorial (Estelle, are you listening?). The back up singers are better than this guy, but only just barely. The melody is infectious, but I don't really mean that as a compliment. Then there's the lyrics:

The tears that fell made flowers bloom
on Earth, in heaven too
And little Conner runs and picks them,
"Mama, these for you!"

So, is Laci the one crying the flowering tears? Why is Conner refusing to use verbs? Is he two? If they're in heaven, why did he age two years? What's happening here? I think this is the most disturbing of the three songs. The vocals are clearly the worst, but it's the creeeeeeeeepy "We love you" whispered at the end that clinches it.

Laci's Song, by Jim and Amy Maris (The delivery guy).
This song is horribly mixed. You can barely hear the cloying lyrics through the Casio accompaniment. The performer thinks she can sing, and probably gets a lot of hoots at karaoke nights, but the whine at the start of each phrase is supposed to be beaten out in freshman chorus. Also, the song cuts out halfway through, but we'll blame that on the Modesto Bee.

We Remember Laci (Gone Straight to Heaven), by John Strand.
Okay, I have to say, I love the back up singers in this one. If I didn't know this was serious, I would say this was a great Saturday Night Live take off on Tony Orlando and Dawn. It's got it all: The Kenny G sax, the smooooooooth soul singin'. These lyrics are the worst of the three. I mean, come on. "Gone straight to heaven, where princess angels live on?" Who writes that? I mean, there's deference, there's victimization, there's idol worship and then there's this. I was having a conversation with my rockstar sister about this, and her favorite lyric is

"She dreamed tall dreams, and made most of them come true."
That's quite a memorial! Jenniebee says she'd like her memorial song to include "She nearly finished college," while I'd like mine to mention that I like pie.
You may think my righteous indignation is misplaced. You may be right. But you're probably not. These songs are horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE. People die all the time. Women are stalked and slaughtered by their loved ones daily. Why are people writing maudlin, overwrought songs for a woman they didn't even know? That these songs were even written, let alone published on-line on a "credible" newspaper's website, is both depressing and disquieting.

I just hope the police know the whereabouts of all these "artists" at the time of Laci's disappearance.

. . . We Love you . . .

Author's note: This is the third draft of this page. I normally don't write, post and then rewrite, but I heard the songs again while playing them for Trevor Dunnigan and I just had to resculpt. Sorry!

5:49 p.m. - 2003-06-17


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