mnvnjnsn's Diary

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So, I was feeling crappy on Friday and, convinced I had finally contracted the horrible stomach flu that had blasted through my family, I went home early to find this:

No, how can you be sick when you come home to that? Well, I still had the stomach cramps, but I mean, really.

Look at them.

They were so cute I had to ruin the whole thing by picking them both up, lugging them to the bed, and trying to snuggle them, which of course they wanted no part of. Who needs me when they have each other? Not Little Cletus and the Prophet of Love here, I tell you what.

The weekend went by uneventfully. I babysat my niece and nephew and they were cuter than should be allowed. My nephew (7) declared that he hated Britney Spears and I begged him never to change. My niece watched Blues Clues and declared her love for Steve in a series of dances. If anyone needed a reason to have kids, my niece and nephew are it.

And yet, I won't have kids. For one thing, I've already got my niece and nephew. But more importantly, how irresponsible would it be to bring a child into this world with my health record? I wouldn't wish even half my genetic code on anyone, let alone my own child. And I'm going die way earlier than anyone's mother should. My father died when I was 12, and that sucked. If I had a child now, I don't think I'd make it to his or her 10th birthday.

But as convenient as the health excuse is, the reality is I don't want children. I don't have the patience for them. If they are as cute and as good and as smart and as calm as my niece and nephew, then I can take them for a day or two. But 24 hours a day? No sir. I haven't the energy or the selflessness.

Cats are just the right amount of needy and self-reliance. I can be gone all day and be reasonably sure they won't have drowned in the toilet or eaten the soap or started a fire or stolen my credit cards while I was gone. And yet, they are happy when I am home, and sit on my lap and need enough attention to make me feel loved. And they are sufficiently well-adjusted enough to make me proud to have raised them.

So they'll never get an 'A' in the science fair. Big deal. They've done better than that in the fanciful situations in my head.

12:16 p.m. - 2003-04-07


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