mnvnjnsn's Diary

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2004-10-12

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excuses

The cats are becoming a very bad influence on me. I say this having spent the last 4 days lying on the couch, half asleep and shedding. I've lost all desire to care about much of anything, and I think the only thing that separates me from the felines is that I am not constantly thinking about food.
And yet, I'm the one with the power to open cans. Ironic, or simply cruel, cruel fate?

This last bit about food has me in a bit of a spiral. I'm not hungry, so I don't eat, so my blood sugar drops, so I get tired and cranky and kill brain cells, so I lie on the couch (or in bed, or on the floor) until I pass out and wake up in a cold sweat, then I eat whatever sugar I can find, causing my blood sugar to skyrocket, so I get tired and cranky and damage all sorts of organs and nerve endings and the like, so I take my insulin and lie on the couch. Repeat, ad infinitum.

So I haven't gotten a job, I haven't updated my resume, I haven't even returned any emails or phone calls. The only reason I'm writing this is because my sleep patterns are so fucked up I only have energy from about 8pm - 1am.
Although, I should be thankful for one thing. Because I am up late, I got to see baby wombats on Animal Planet.

Damnit, now I really really want to move to Australia and live on an Emu ranch with wallabies and wombats and a winery.

12:29 a.m. - 2004-10-12

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