mnvnjnsn's Diary

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2003-03-19

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The Itchy and Scratchy Show

Welts. I have scratched my hives into welts. And yes, that should also be the name of a band. They could both open up for Sting.

(I was once stung by bee at a Sting concert during the song "King of Pain." That's my teaser line when I finally appear on a game show. Seriously. I should go on "Lingo." Because I'm rabid. R-A-B-I-D. Thanks, Chuck)

I know it isn't fleas, because the cats don't have them, and Trevor Dunnigan doesn't itch. I could be the laundry soap, but we haven't changed laundry soap in a while. I tell people it's the Effexor, but I know what it is.

It's the Vicodin. Because every pill must have an equally dangerous, painful or irritating side effect as the malady it's treating. Because the gods just don't want me to be relieved.

Yes, so I'm collecting welts and scabs and rashes and scars on my lower back, shoulders, hips and upper arms. I sit in meetings and can't stop putting my hand up my shirt or down my pants. I think I'm creeping people out.

3:46 p.m. - 2003-03-19

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